Love Song

V1.
Dear Love,
Don't you know?
You have the most beautiful soul…
You see flaws in yourself
That to me aren't visible

I wouldn't change any part of you
I fell in love with who you are
If you could only see for yourself..
You're the true shining star

(I wish that you could see, how much you mean to me)

Cho.
I would go through this life, live it all over again
Every nightmare and pain, To feel the warmth of your hand
Every fear I would face, every tear I would cry
I would do what it takes, to have you by my side
Don't you understand..no matter the price I had to pay
it would be worth it all…(worth it all)
Just to have you in the end..

V2.
I know things aren't easy
There's no one to blame
At times it will seem
Life doesn't go your way

But when you feel its too much
You can't face it alone
Just know I will always be here
To help you walk down this road

(I want you to see, you mean more than this world to me….)

Cho.
I would go through this life, live it all over again
Every nightmare and pain, To feel the warmth of your hand
Every fear I would face, every tear I would cry
I would do what it takes, to have you by my side
Don't you understand..no matter the price I had to pay
it would be worth it all…(worth it all)
Just to have you in the end..

Prelude to me.

Sucking in my last breath
I can feel my heart drop
I know that as soon as things seem good
they will fall.

I have accepted that those that walk in,
walk out.
The doors that open,
they close.
The sun that shines,
is hid behind a cloud.

-I was never meant to be one of the happy ones.

The Unedited Song

Cho.
Sometimes its just easier to hide
Behind the things that we call life
I know that it will never get much better
(not even better in time)
Just when I see the sun come out
I realize its hid behind a cloud
Im not meant to be one of the happy ones

V1.Break me and change me
whatever you make of me
Hurt me, abuse me
I was never blind
I knew all along ..that this was too good to be true
It's hard enough to breathe, when I feel I am breathing for you

Give me a mask so I can hide behind its smile
Let me stay here for awhile
just pretend that things will be okay
I know from the past that I was wrong
Dreams are were only dreams all along
I was never meant to be a happy one

V2.
Die for me, Die for me still
Take me like a jagged pill
I never go down easy no, never have I
Too much to carry so, just break up and let me go
I know you will never know
its just a haunting little dream..ohhh

Take away my pain
take away my fear
Let me feel your touch once again
Take away my pain
Take away my fear
Let me feel, just let me feel

Bridge
Ohhhhh
but I know
that I
was never meant to be
one of the happy ones...

Cho.
Sometimes its just easier to hide
behind the things that we call life
I know that it will never get much better
(not even better in time)
Just when I see the sun come out
I realize its hid behind a cloud
Im not meant to be one of the happy ones

A piece of me died

I don't even know how to describe
I feel empty
Where did I go wrong? When did I become so disconnected...from myself?
I love, and I give, and i love and I give..
but when will I be filled up?
When is my filling time>?
My heart is on empty, and needs to be refueled.
I am weary and tired
I am listless and heavy
I am not the strong person that pulled through in the past
I am burdened and lonely
A piece of me died.
I loved that piece..but i cannot even identify it.
Was it determination?
Was it faith?
Was it Optimism?
Was it pride?
I long for you, piece 'that died'
please return to your home
So that I may be whole
Oh piece of me that died
just help me recognize
so I won't have to feel so dead inside.

Reoccuring Nightmare

A whisper of smoke
vision unclear
and her feet unsteady
frantic in fear
she is scraping her fingernails on the ground
clawing to catch her footing
grasping for some kind of hope
*knock knock knock*
the door swings open
"please, sir ..help me!!
The stranger welcomes me in hurredly and shuts the door
I Pick up the phone and dial frantically....
my heart is pounding, a shadow passes by the window
I freeze in fear, and am unable to breathe
the pounding of my heart is all I can hear.
before I manage to make out a word..
The shadow knocks..and the stranger answers...
"NO!! Stranger..don't!!!"
With no time to respond the door is open..
and in a flash the shadow pulls the trigger
and blood begins pouring out of the strangers head
phone drops to the floor
and I jump out the back door
back on the chase.
The god damn chase.
It never fucking ends
someone always dies, someone is brutally shot,
I am always running, hiding, begging for help.
Shadow - WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?
Why can't you just leave me the fuck alone?
I need to figure out who you are to conquer you
Im so weary of running in my dreams
Im so ready to have security.
i need to quit running from my fears.
Fuck you shadow.
Fuck you fear.