Collect

Im sucking in my last breath
long for it to just be
lay me down to sleep
forget I ever tried
forget the girl i was
I wasn't worth it

My heart breaks daily
my tears fall like steady rain
if my emotions were like weather,
I believe I would be in Seattle
Suicide sounds like a dream come true

loneliness equals death over time
sometimes, i wish it were all over
sometimes, i wish the disease were just HIV
i can't tell you the countless wishes I survive on
the countless dreams I feed my heart
you can lie for awhile
some even a lifetime
but those lies have caught up in mine

In a short 25 years, I realize loneliness has called
and it wants to collect
Collect it all. Collect the broken dreams. Collect the broken promises
Collect the broken friendships, the heartache, the lies, the threats.
Im tired and weary.
I may love, but no one will ever love in return.
Collect. Please, just collect me from this pain.

Senses

I want to
to hold you
to pretend that this is a dream
inhale the scents of lavender and chamomile
relax in a sea of soft bubbles
with a tiny ignited fire lighting the room

I long to
to hold you
to smell your scent
and to run my fingers through you hair
release all inhibitions
and whisper in your ear
to share secrets and laughter

I crave to
to be held by you
to feel your arms wrapped around me
to have you nuzzle my neck
and cover me with your kisses
make me feel like the princess in your world

I pray
I don't lose you
I fear that I may never love anyone
the way that i love you
I don't want to feel lost
I want you to hold my hand
as we follow down this path

I want to
to hold you
I long to hear the sound of your voice
to glide my hand across your back
to share our dreams and fears
under a blanket of stars

I love you
and I want to
to be loved by someone completely
the way that I love them to
to never have to wonder or worry
to know that I truly am your #1 girl